A debate between a man and himself

I keep on debating whether or not to scrap this blog entirely and start a new one or to continue down the path I've already started. I don't think any other content I've posted online has been quite as personal, and that's at once desirable and undesirable. Although all the expression I've put into this might seem to lack any sort of framework, considering my lack of recent posts and of any focused subject, it's still my most consistent work. 

Sadly. Maybe.

Nah.

No regrets.

I do think I'll start a more professional blog though where I don't post on nearly as intimate subjects, but it'll still have my trace. 

- Brandon

Adventures in depression

            Sometimes, I get incredibly sad for almost no clear reason. Although no one has sliced open my skull to observe its contents, I’ve been told that it has to do with a chemical imbalance in my brain likely passed down genetically. While I’ll readily admit that I am human and therefore subject to these genetic laws, I’ve never found that diagnosis to be a satisfying answer to why I feel so empty at times.

            Even though I feel my depression has no traceable origin, I hypothesize that the answer is much more concrete. One major component of my depression is this constant state of alertness, awareness which almost nears paranoia. Although I’m sure that many people think I’m completely scatter-minded and oblivious, I often feel that people are watching every slight twitch or faux pas I make, silently judging my character or competence. To the contrary, I can tell you that I don’t consciously think this, but it’s always residing in the back of my mind.

Anyway, I attribute this alertness/oversensitivity to a possible evolutionary strength. Think about it: in a society more reliant upon quick responsiveness to change, who will more likely succeed: the paranoid type, consistently aware of his surroundings or the less observant type? I think I have made the answer rather obvious, but paranoia can be a good thing in the right context. However, more and more of the world is becoming sedentary due to the growing conveniences that modern technology provides. At least in the U.S., we arguably have a slight sense of stability whereas many human societies in the past experienced constant turmoil (although I should acknowledge that long pleasant periods were often interspersed with said turmoil). Hyper-alertness can be an undoing in relatively stable times.

I’ve also heard many people link depression to creativity and/or intelligence. They point to the numerous amounts of actors, artists, musicians, scientists, philosophers, etc. who have been diagnosed with the mood disorder. I’d be interested to know if there’s an actual correlation there. If such was the case, that would explain why I’m so brilliant and talented. Ha.

I know this may seem like a rather banal usage of the scientific method although I’m only really making vague hypotheses here. I should mention that depression really does affect a person. I may seem to be making a cold analysis of what I think is going on in my brain, but the disorder really does impair a person’s outlook on life and will to go on from day to day.

Coffee = Productivity

Adventures in laundry

Today hasn't felt like much of a day honestly, because I've been focused on semi-productive things--mostly talking to my Programs Abroad Coordinator on campus and doing laundry at Dad's. 

This is the front yard of my dad's home. It's not too shabby, but there's always noise being made across the street by metalworkers. Occasionally, a friendly man with white hair and complementing beard will roll down the street on a bicycle and give a smile and a wave to me and my dad if we're outside. I love that guy.

Anyway, not too much to post here. I did laundry and had a small nap in which I vividly visited the dreamworld. I won't go into all the bizarre details, but I did wake up feeling disappointed and confused. There was a running gag in my dream where people's dreamselves would ask me if I knew why it was so hot. I would respond with a no which would be met instantly with laughter and following: "You mean you haven't seen The Avengers?" Then the conversation would end right there.

No, I proudly admit that I have not seen The Avengers, but now I do want to--only to clarify the possible punchline.

Yeah, weird, I know...

An Open Letter to Mike Huckabee

Just as this the title suggests, this is an open statement towards former Arkansas governor, Mike Huckabee. Towards the end of July, Huckabee announced the creation of "Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day," a day to express support for Cathy's affirmation for "traditional family values" (which we really know is conversation jargon expressing distaste for homosexuals) by urging fellow conservatives to buy chicken from one of the franchises. At this moment, I am unable to find a suitable email address for Mr. Huckabee, but, once I do, I shall forward this message to him. I am not expecting him to reply or to even read it, but I suppose that this is better than sitting idly.

Dear former governor Huckabee,

I am not sure if you are aware of it, but President Obama recently signed into law the "Honoring America’s Veterans and Caring for Camp Lejeune Families Act of 2012." The bipartisan bill supports a wide variety of things that are great for our nation's veterans, but some sections of it particularly trouble me:

"While ensuring the freedom to protest, but protecting the rights and the honor of the families of the fallen, those wishing to protest military funerals, or at national cemeteries, shall be subject to restrictions, and if violated, protesters shall be punished by criminal or civil action. In addition, servicemembers who die on active-duty shall now be eligible for Presidential Memorial Certificates to honor their service to the Nation. (Sections 601, 603, S. 914, Sen. Mark Begich)" Source

Obviously, these sections refer to the actions of the infamous Westboro Baptist Church who cruelly protest the funerals of fallen soldiers, linking it to our nation's growing acceptance of homosexuality. 

While I do think that it is in best intentions that this portion of the bill exists, I do as well think that it crosses a line into the issue of our constitutional right to free speech. Being a small government conservative yourself, you should be worried whenever any form of government subjectively decides what acceptable and unacceptable free speech are. This could be a slippery slope, ultimately limiting our speech to what the government finds unoffensive. Personally, I find this completely against our American principles. I am not alone either; the Supreme Court has ruled on this issue in the past and has found that limiting even Westboro Baptist's hateful protesting is unconstitutional. 

Now, you are probably asking yourself--why is this relevant to me, Mike Huckabee of Arkansas? As an East Tennessean, I have absolutely no relation to you in any way and, as a self-described liberal, I disagree with a lot of your positions. However, this is a constitutional issue; so it should be relevant for all Americans. 

In the past month, you have shown your passion for free speech. You helped to create the successful "Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day" to show your support for Dan Cathy's ability to make public statements, affirming his right to free speech. Ironically, none of my fellow liberals were bold enough to even attempt to suppress this man's right to say whatever he wants, but my point is that you showed quite evidently your passion for free speech. 

On July 26th, you even posted the following on your public Facebook page:

"We're simply asking people to eat chicken and not to be one when it's time to take a stand-our appreciation is not only for the views of Dan Cathy, but for his right to have them and express them freely."

Our rights to express our opinions are now actually being encroached upon by the federal government. Will you please express the same passion on social media and on your television appearances for free speech concerning this glaring issue? You are a very visible person and your words do not go unnoticed. I wonder how many Americans are unaware of what is truly happening to our dwindling right to freely express ourselves. Your putting forth of public condemnation of this section of the bill would truly show that you are a man who champions free speech.

Thank you,

Brandon B. of Knoxville, TN

Chick-fil-A

So, I've decided that I'm pledging to myself to not get confront any more comments on Facebook about the whole Chick-fil-A ordeal. The whole thing makes my blood boil. In order to finally put this to a conclusion, I'm going to link a few articles with which I particularly agree. 

But first, here's a post I made on FB that I find completely at the heart of what's going on:

This is my response to the claim that we should support Chick-fil-A, because doing so would be supporting free speech. I'm only reposting it on my wall, because 1) I'm astounded at my own brilliance and 2) the slight chance that one of my friends might find it somewhat insightful.

"This has nothing to do with an individual's right to free speech. No one is at another's throat, demanding that he ...

be censored or required to have his statements recanted. If you think it does, where were you a few months ago when JCPenney released a catalogue depicting same-sex couples and children and thereby promoting a corporate statement for equality? 'One Million Moms' and other outrageous conservative organizations were up in arms and their rage has as much to do with free speech as the current rage against Chick-fil-A does.

As for your appeal to one's religious sense, I will not contest that the passages in your bible often denounce homosexuality, but they also denounce equally petty things as eating shellfish, playing football, etc.; none of which are illegal. The book also supports slavery, violence towards women and so on, but no one "takes a stand" for those things. And even if all the things I just listed had popular support, they would still have no place in law. The government should not cater to religion. 'Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion...'" 

Anyway, I'm done. Arguing on the interwebs is stressful. 

Noah Michelson of The Huffington Post  mirrors this sentiment well.

Update

I get the feeling that I should delete my last entry. However, I really have little intention of doing this. Besides the few people I've showed my blog to and the random people that stumble upon my entries, my writings here are practically anonymous.

And I love it. With Facebook, I sometimes monitor each slight thing I say so that others won't think "differently" of me although I know I really shouldn't care.

Anyway. Blog post. Yeah. I am still working on my ISEP application for France in spring 2013. I'm thrilled about actually going, but this application might possibly kill me. It requires that I find courses for each school that I'm applying to and reasons as to why I would want to take them. The ISEP website even helpfully has a guide to navigating these French websites. It's not that understanding the French is hard to me; it's that these websites have a confusing network in which course information is extremely hard to find. Sadly, I believe the guides provided are outdated, because they almost never help me find the information I need.

First world problems!

But yeah, I'm surfing the interwebs at the moment for a good fish and chips recipe. Ever since leaving Connecticut after spring break, I've been craving some golden deliciousness. If I find a good/easy recipe, maybe I'll document my cooking experiment whenever I decide to stop being uber lazy.